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Sir Floppers:
Sir Flopper's parents were killed on the day of his birth by the mafia. He spent his infancy living with his abusive uncle, Greens. After Greens was killed in a lap-dancing accident, Sir Floppers was forced to live with his best buddy Whip. At the age of 14, Sir Floppers discovered he is god-modded( and can eat coal for some reason). He is now going on adventures with his friend, trying to figure out his family tree.
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Whip:
Whip is Sir Floppers' drug-buddy. He can hook you up with any drug within a five-mile radius and give you a warm feeling inside at the same time. Whip is the proud owner of a hang-glider that he keeps hidden in his ears. Every year, on his birthday, Whip gives out drugs for free and screws everyone over financially.
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The Fabulous Blitz:
Blitz is a spy sent by Panda. He constantly spies on Sir Floppers when he isn't having drug adventures. He has no friends besides Panda and Whip, so he drowns his sorrow by eating Fruit-By-The-Foot and Cherry 7up. Not only can he hear the cosmos, but he's also a web-wizard. Panda doesn't allow him inside, so he sleeps in a box.
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McTopson:
McTopson is from a scottish clan down in Canada. His greatest possession is a $25 gift card for Wal-Mart. He doesn't have a home because his girlfriend stole it after laying the smackdown on him for justice. McTopson is part of the mafia that is out to get everyone in this entire freaking comic. Also, he's the only person who knows how to cook something besides ramen noodles.
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Panda:
Panda is a pimp that rules half of France. When he was a little boy, his mom poofed out of existence. His father was a drunk Pokemon trainer. One day, his father got drunk so much, he thought he could fly and fell out a ten story window. Panda called the paramedics without realizing he was alive, and his dad got ran over by the ambulance because his dad wanted to make sweet love to it. Panda was forced to become a rich pimp for the rest of his life. Recently struck a deal with Renity to break twenty minecrafts.
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Michael Jackson:
Michael Jackson is a mafia leader from a funky groove machine. After Sir Floppers burned down his hidden chocolate base somewhere is the Himalayas, he vowed revenge and sent all his mafia members after him. He also thinks Panda is involved with all of this. Michael really just needs a hug really badly.
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Yamataro:
KK is an alien from the moon. When he grows up, he wants to believe. He came to Earth to farm tofu, but instead, he found love. He's in love with the tree in his backyard. When Blitz tried to teach him how to be as handsome as him, KK shot Blitz in the foot.
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Paul:
Paul is the sexy wind god of the sea. He became the ultimate math teacher for five seconds.His ultimate goal is to rid the world of all milk, because milk is the root of all evil. If he sees milk, twenty two explosions will happen. He has to work with Michael Jackson to win back the only thing he cares about in the world, his pet walrus.
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Thief of Light:
Mageman was raised by an abusive funky time lord. He was often neglected when the time lord would team up with Michael Jackson and become pirate kings. After his sister was cut into 134 pieces, the time lord left Mageman to find a cure. Mageman said "screw this" and went to live with KK for a while. After learning kung fu four times, he left KK when he learned Blitz had explosifluenza, a deadly disease that might be made up by Paul.
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Whip:
THIS CHICKEN RIGHT HERE. SHE WAS BORN FROM A COW NAMED MICHAEL GETTING HIT IN THE FACE WITH AN EGG. FROM HER BIRTH, ALL SHE COULD THINK ABOUT WAS ESCAPING THE HOUSE MICHAEL AND HER SHARED. WHEN THE CHANCE CAME, SHE FLEW AWAY. SHE WENT ON TO LIVE AS A SHEEP FOR A WHILE, BEFORE CLONING HERSELF. WITH EACH TURN, SHE ADVANCES FROM THE LAST PERSON SHE WAS. SHE GOT MAD AND DESTROYED A PIMP TOWER. ALSO ACHIEVED HER FINAL-FORM.
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MY PLUMBING SUCKS:
BEHOLD A PERFECT MAN.
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Maurice what are you doing you are drunk stop it:
The current world-record-holder of fastest completion of stacking cups. It is unclear what his true motives are, except they most likely involve marrying Renity. He has been accused of everything that goes bad for the mafia. He has recently taken up an interest in geology.
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The 59 1/2th Doctor:
The 59 1/2th master may or may not be possibly related to Sir Floppers. Maybe. This fuddyduddy stole $25 gift card to Wal-mart. He has the complete first season of Frumbles on DVD AND VHS. He is also 2-years-old and has gone through extensive plastic surgery to get exponential growth in his local ecosystem. Gave Michael Jackson a lice problem.
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Panda's Tuba:
After using some emergency alchemistry, Sir Floppers now has to share his body with Panda's Tuba, who previously worked as a triple agent against the mafia. He is currently the color blue. And has some boxers in him. Yeah. Also it's a dragon.
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What do you get when you cross a parrot with a car?
A flying car pet! Honk beep chirp.